First Date

After the beer by the fire, the dance in the barn, the frolicking on the grass, the train ride back to the city and more frolicking in my flat, we emerged from the extended party with hunger. We had not eaten in the past twenty four hours. I ran out to the nearest store and got some ready-to-eat roast chicken and spaghetti.

We sat down to eat at my little round table covered with a pale peach coloured table cloth that hung down elegantly all the way near the floor. A soft and tender light glowing through the lamp shade.   A prosperous philodendron plant hanging from the ceiling nearby. It was the first time we faced each other with the prospect of having a conversation across the table, like a first date.

“You want to see a trick?” He asked over the spaghetti in thick tomato sauce, his eyebrows tilting up its ends as if to put a question mark.

“Sure,” I said, thinking that he might pull out a rabbit under his sweater.

He picked up a long spaghetti with his fingers and started to push one end of it up his nostril. The spaghetti string was too soft to be pushed in straight, so he started to snort in to help it through the journey. The red tomato sauce started to get around his nose and his face.   Then he opened his mouth wide, and put in two fingers to catch the end of the spaghetti from his throat.   He caught it, and started pulling the spaghetti out of his mouth. The other end of the spaghetti string quickly flew up from the plate and flipped in the air a little like a little fish tail before he caught it with his other hand to stop it from disappearing into his nose. Now, he had both ends of the spaghetti string that travelled through his nostril, down the throat and out from his mouth.  Holding each end with two fingers of each hand, he began to pull the string back and forth through his nostril and mouth as if playing an instrument. The string was covered with gooey snot from his nose. He had a triumphant smile and red stains all over his face looking at me for amusement.

I was flabbergasted. If this was what he could do on our first date, what would he do next? I considered it and decided to take a second date.